She lay there alone in the dark, trying to figure out when her life became such a mess. Why was the world against her? It felt like everything she could imagine had gone wrong.
It seemed like everyone’s lives were moving forward to the future, and her life was staying still. No progress at all. Yesterday feels like the other day and tomorrow will feel like today, a constant cycle of nothing.
But she has no one else to blame but herself.
As she picks herself up and looks towards the future a rush of negativity hits her, and she is hit with the truth of reality, that her life is going nowhere.
People she loves seem to think not, they only look at the positives. But why is it that she can only focus on the negatives.
Constantly doubting herself, she degrades her hopes and dreams, because she is in fear of failing. In fear of putting her hopes up, in case she falls, because what is a person who cannot dream? What is a person who cannot hope? Therefore she must dream small.
Following the crowd is something she hates, but she must do in order to fit in because she doesn't like to be alone, in her journey of nothing.
Although it was eating her up inside, she put her mask on and plays her game. Concealing from the pain, she impersonates a vain carefree person with no worries on her plate. Little do people know that this young sweet girl fears everyday?
Fears that her life is going to continue being the same.
Why is it that this young beautiful girl hates her life?
Hiding behind closed doors she cannot see a better future for herself.
On the sad and lonely path to the future, she feels as If she isn't worth anything. She's scared to love and live, how can someone who cannot love herself love another? How can someone so young want to see the end of her current life?
And wish for another?
Unsure of what she feels inside, she feels scared, afraid, hurt and angry. Voices of people around her continue to ask her 'what's wrong? '
How can she answer that question when she doesn't know?
How can she answer that question without blowing her cover?
Days pass and she becomes better and better at hiding her emotion from the people around her, even her self.
When they ask her 'what's wrong' she smiles and replies 'nothing is wrong'.
Little do they know that everything is wrong?
Her life seems to be like a mess and she cannot bring herself to clean it up. Unable to see the better future all she can do is cry and bottle her emotions up. How can people understand what is going through her mind? How can people understand what she wants in life when she doesn't know herself?
All she wants is to have a carefree happy life. But she hasn't felt happy in a long time and she cannot bring herself to show her emotion.
Why can't her life be easy? She tells herself that life is to short to feel sorry and sad for yourself but words can't change her mind. Her thoughts have slowly taken over her and she becomes a person who over reads every detail in her flaw life, leaving her sad and broken inside.
